HURT100 2023: an Unconventional Way to Celebrate One Year as a New Mom

My heart aches to hear that the founder of HURT, John, has just passed away this week. Thank you John for creating such an inspiring community in paradise, a place where we can all go to test ourselves, and a second family that are the friendliest people on earth. It’s an amazing legacy you’ve left behind.

The motivation

Before I begin, let me just start by acknowledging how ironic it is that I’m sitting here writing a recap from HURT 2023, a race that had me nauseous-suffering and puking and rallying for hours on end, and while I write this, I recover from food poisoning or some other virus that took out the whole family into a domestic version last night. I couldn’t remember the last time that I puked outside of an ultra, and wondered how I managed to finish HURT in that state. 😛

Somehow during the heightened hormones of pregnancy, I got a really silly idea. I was still able to run quite a bit, okay, a ton – even to the extent that I could still run ultras. Even then, I carried some anxiety about what would happen postpartum: there was such a large range of experiences that could happen during labour, and I was anxious about my body postpartum, and how it would change. I felt like I was gifted with a weird resiliency for running long distances, and I wasn’t sure I could count on that after the massive variables of pregnancy and childbirth. 

For whatever reason, I decided to set a big goal to focus my energies during that time. Right away, my mind focused in on the HURT100 in Hawaii. I decided that I would try to run HURT one year after giving birth, as it’s the most challenging thing I’ve ever done. After finishing HURT in 2015, I told myself that it would take a pretty big life event to have the courage to do it again. And suddenly, here I was, laser-focused on doing it again. As time passed, it became something I thought about every day. I’m not sure why it became so important to me, but I think it has to do with representing my recovery, my return to normal running and fitness, and my ability to overcome the physical setbacks of pregnancy and childbirth. I also loved the timing, because the race was right at the end of my one-year parental leave, so I could make use of my weekdays to train, as long as baby Luc was able to join me. I had many options for training with my baby sports quiver: he could join me in the running stroller, or the hiking backpack, or I could tow him in the ski chariot!

In August, the lottery happened, and as I watched and celebrated Pargol’s name being drawn, I simultaneously felt the disappointment of not being drawn. I found my name on the waitlist, and it was pretty far down – around #40. Many conversations ensued with HURT regulars, including my friend and 5-time HURT runner Craig, trying to figure out if I would get in off the waitlist or not. It was hard to know, he said, and advised that I check back in October for the January race. Other friends advised me to choose a different race instead, something that I could guarantee. But as I tried to brainstorm other events and challenges I could do, nothing else resonated. I decided that I would try to train anyway.

Training for HURT as an eager waitlister

Training went well in the fall. I ran the Golden Ultra and did really well, and after recovering from it, I strung together some very good quality endurance training, with a weekly 4-5 hour long trail run. I’m lucky that I live right on the trails in Squamish, and I can easily string together a route that matches the elevation profile of HURT, and even the technical terrain. (Although, we have evergreens and cougars, instead of bamboo forest and roosters at dawn!) I booked a crappy hotel with free cancellation just in case, and figured I would confirm the trip once I knew for sure. But then late November came. I hadn’t moved up on the waitlist in three weeks, the race’s partial refund date had passed, and the trails outside my house turned into an icey, slushy, sloppy mess with the near-freezing rain on top of snow. Suddenly, skiing became the best mode of travel outside, and the only viable outdoor running was on road. For those weeks that I wasn’t moving up on the waitlist, it was very difficult to train at that point, as it just didn’t seem like I would get in, and I had a baby at home, so the opportunity cost was high. I told Julien that it wasn’t happening, and we talked about the idea of doing a family ski trip instead. I cancelled my crappy hotel reservation, and stopped checking the waitlist multiple times a day. Privately though, I did remain hopeful, partially because Pargol kept messaging me that she thought I would get in! I decided to mostly embrace winter and skiing while towing the baby chariot as training, but kept some base miles in, with a weekly two-hour long run on road, and almost-daily stroller runs on the snow-cleared bike path. I felt like it wasn’t perfect or ideal for a technical jungle hundred-miler, but that it was still enough to run the race if I did get in.

December came, and finally my name started to move up on the waitlist. At this point we went and bought a used treadmill, as the trails were a mess, and I started doing a mix of treadmill runs with incline, and stroller runs outside. My unconventional jungle hundred-miler training culminated in a parental leave challenge, where I tried to run as much as I could on a weekday with the baby, (without sacrificing the baby’s “ideal day” in any way) and donated $1 per kilometer to the Squamish Food Bank. On that random weekday about a month before HURT, I ran 50k over 2 treadmill runs during the baby’s naps, and 2 stroller runs outside between meals and playtime. I called it my Parental Leave Finale, and it was really an unconventional HURT training run. No childcare? No problem!

Around this time, I started creeping up the list, and found myself moving up from #10 finally. I started adding a second stroller run some days, which Julien obviously noticed, and made me admit that I was still hopeful for HURT. By December 23, three weeks before the race, I was at #2, and I just knew I’d get in. We decided that it would make the most sense for me to go solo, as it was such a short notice to find decent accommodations for the whole family. On Christmas Eve, I got that special email from HURT, and immediately set about booking flights and registering. My boss let me take a couple days off work, which was so appreciated, and Pargol jumped in and offered up a place to stay in their AirBnB, which really made it possible for me to come. Suddenly, everything was set! I felt so grateful to have the chance to go.

I had one weekend left to do race-specific training, so I organized two runs on the snow-free North Vancouver trails an hour away. One day, I drove an extra hour to drop baby Luc at my mom’s so I could run 30k on HURT-like trails, and a few days later, I took advantage of Julien’s day off work to meet Jenny for a super-fun sunrise 30k. It was important to me to get a couple hours of night-running in, and the run with Jenny was awesome, as we started at 6am, running for 2 hours in the dark before sunrise. It wasn’t a ton, but it was enough to test my lighting setup and feel confident about the long night at HURT.

Right after Christmas, I also started heat training like any self-respecting ginger should who is about to enter a tropical, hot mountain race. When I ran HURT in 2015, I really got destroyed from the heat in loop 2, so I decided to focus on heat training as a priority. I used a passive heating protocol, going in the sauna at home for 30 minutes every evening before bed for 10 days in a row. It’s more effective if you go in pre-warmed, and often people typically achieve this by doing their run training right before the sauna session. I did things a little differently, as I had the time to heat train around 8pm at night after Luc went to bed, and it would have felt gross to run at that time, as it’s typically when I have the least energy (and it’s miserable outside then in Squamish winter!). So, I decided to make it a full spa experience instead, and I had a 20-30 minute hot bath to pre-warm before the sauna. It seemed very effective, I was already uncomfortably hot by the time I left the bath!

I went back to work just as my taper began, graduating from my one-year parental leave. It was helpful to have the taper during the transition back to work, as it was easy to fit in my short, 30-minute runs, and they were just long enough to serve as daily energy + dopamine.

Of course, with two weeks before the race, I started developing really random aches and pains that I had never-before experienced: I was starting to get runner’s knee on my right knee, which really worried me. How was I going to run 100 miles, when it hurt to run 30 minutes?! I went for a last-minute physio appointment in Squamish, where I got IMS done and confirmed that it was likely a result of over-tight muscles causing a knee-tracking issue. I started foam rolling and using the lacrosse ball religiously, and just felt a bit like a fraud, attempting a 100 mile race when I thought there was a decent chance I would have to bail during the first 20-mile loop!

From daycare dropoff to Waikiki Beach

To my surprise, the return to work and the start of daycare really were tough for me emotionally. As someone who wasn’t very maternal before having Luc, it was surprising to encounter these feelings of deeply missing him when I went back to my office job.

In some ways, the HURT trip was very bad timing. It came on my second week back at the office, and I had to drop him off at daycare Thursday morning, knowing I wouldn’t see him again until Tuesday evening. I still wasn’t used to the large reduction in time with him, and I found myself wishing Julien and Luc were coming. Thankfully I didn’t have time to dwell on it: I had a busy morning at work in Squamish, and then was off to the airport for an early evening flight. 

After a fun-filled slight seated next to a hilarious (and likely mildly high?) couple, I got in late on Thursday night, and Pargol’s boyfriend Dave graciously woke up to guide me through the condo and into our shared accommodations. The bed was for tiny humans, but I was grateful to have any bed: Craig and Sean were reportedly getting the two sofas in the completely un-private living room…

Pre race solo pool party

On Friday, the day before the race, I woke up early. I was buzzing with nervous energy already, and had already been lying awake in bed for an hour, reading my trusty Kindle. Craig and Sean were up early to do course marking, and one by one, everyone else started to emerge from the two bedrooms. That’s when I discovered how many people we had crammed into the AirBnB: 7! It felt like a university dorm experience, except with 30-50 year olds. After a while Kim and Martin poked out of one room, which was a pleasant surprise. I could have sworn they were going to stay with us, but when I arrived late at night, I couldn’t picture where they would sleep in the space, so I convinced myself they weren’t actually here. Pargol organized all her race gear in a fraction of the time I’ve ever seen anyone do it, and then invited me to a nice breakfast at a friend’s house in Kailua. I sensed that I was going to need some time to putter without holding everyone else up, so I decided to stay behind in Waikiki. After a very busy transition to work and life with a baby, I was really craving the feeling of having so much time and not much to do.

After a few hours of carefully placing various sugars and electrolytes and socks into specific containers and bags, I ducked out to do a shakeout run. The run took me to Waikiki Beach, and an ABC store, which had a delightful selection of sunscreens that aren’t usually available to Canadians. I was disappointed to see so many homeless people in this part of Waikiki, the real problems of this fantasy-land presenting themselves. Thankfully I had other distractions. Near the canal, I got an amazing view of the tall, tropical ridges of the HURT course and surrounding mountains, and I couldn’t wait to get out there. It was torturous to be so close, but just waiting for the race to start.

I killed time in the afternoon at the little condo building’s pool, reading Lauren Fleshman’s new book in the shade. When Craig and Sean came back, we went in search of pastries, but most of the cafes had closed for the afternoon. Afterward, Pargol, Dave and I went to pick up pre-race stuff in Manoa, which was a relaxing little drive, and so nice to have company after lots of solitude time. I got to FaceTime Julien and Luc, and then I made Pargol, Dave and I the most basic dinner ever: pasta with red sauce slapped onto the pan from a jar, and a side salad served in a plastic lettuce container, flavoured entirely with random (and underwhelming) AirBnB condiments. After dinner, I got to meet my potential pacer, Cole, and his wife Steph, who came over on their way home from a track workout. When I got into the race at Christmas, Pargol had put me in touch with local runners who could maybe help me find a pacer. A local runner named Melanie was super supportive, and connected me with Cole, who was kindly going to make himself available to run a whole loop through the night! It was so nice to have them over and meet before the start, and it made me extra confident that he would probably show up. 😉

We went to bed around 8:30, and I slept deeply for half the night, rising abruptly in mini panics for the second half, anxiously thinking it was time to get up.

Race day is here!

I woke up naturally at 4am, unfortunately waking up Pargol, and began the morning routine. I’d already made overnight oats and coffee the night before, thinking that I’d prefer to have them cold. Maybe it was obsessive, but I was doing everything I could to keep my core temperature down before the heat and humidity of the race. The oatmeal tasted pasty, but I downed it anyway. The coffee was delicious, as I’d brought my favourite Rooftop Coffee beans all the way from home…

Before long, we were walking up to the Nature Center with Kim in the dark, and doing all the nutty pre-run antics you’d expect: going pee, going pee again, tying and re-tying the shoelaces. A funny moment was when there was a lineup for outhouses, and then Pargol outsmarted everyone and found a nice clean bathroom around the corner with no lines. I felt like this mental capacity was a positive omen for her today. 😉

Loop 1

At the start line, I made a point to meet Tracy Garneau, a legendary Alberta runner who has the female course record, which she set in 2010. Now in her fifties, I was so keen to meet her, and really hoped I’d get to run with her. We got to start the race together, ambling up the Hogsback climb that starts pretty much right away on each 20-mile HURT loop, and just starting out super chill. We also met this awesome guy named Bobby from Washington State, and he seemed to be totally in the same mood as us, starting out chill and social. HURT has a finish rate in the mid 40%, which makes it clear that it’s all about conservation and running smart. (Aka hiking all the climbs.)

At some point I drifted a little bit ahead, still hiking all the climbs but letting myself run the downs at a pace that felt natural and effortless. In retrospect, I wish that I had stuck with those two – they were having a blast, and they ended up pacing the race so well, and finishing ahead of me in the end. But hindsight is 20/20… it felt so easy at the time!

I started to execute my plan for snacks and drinks, which had worked well for me in all my ultras this year, at Squamish 50k and Golden Ultra: a combination of Tim Horton’s timbits from time to time, and XACT Nutrition fruit bars, aiming for about 80 calories every 20 minutes. I also had two bottles with XACT electrolyte drink tablets, just anticipating that I’d need to stay on top of electrolyte replenishment in the heat and humidity.

To my surprise, my runner’s knee had vanished, and my body felt terrific. Everything was going great, except for one small, but very important detail: I’d made a major gear mistake, and decided to wear my favourite shoes for all my recent “short” ultras, the HOKA Zinales. I forgot how hard-packed the HURT course is, combined with all the big roots and rocks, and the minimalist short-distance shoe wasn’t giving my feet enough protection. Within a few miles, my feet were sore, almost feeling bruised. I modified my steps a bit so that I landed on the dirt instead of the big, hard, roots, and couldn’t wait until I could swap into my bigger, super-cushioned HOKA Cliftons or Tectons for loop two. The problem was, loop 1 was long – 20 miles – and so I worried about my early foot pain constantly – how would my feet hold up to another 80 miles if they were already hurting?!

Other than the feet fear, loop 1 was super enjoyable, as it always is. In addition to Tracy and Bobby, I also got to meet Katherina, a runner originally from Estonia who currently lives in Marin County. She also got into the race quite late, and we had so many other things in common too. Katherina is another one of those people I reflect on and think: “why the F did I choose to pass her at any point?!” – As she went on to have a killer race, and absolutely crushed it, in a blazing-fast sub-27 hour time. (Plus, I really connected with her!)

But I did, for some reason my legs gently pushed me on, and I found myself in 2nd female / 5th overall, a few minutes behind female leader Alyssa. The cool thing about HURT, is it’s full of out-and-back sections on the narrow singletrack, so you get to see and high-five everyone very often throughout the whole race.

Aside from the fear of my feet developing trench foot or bruises way too early, I finished lap one in amazing spirits, with a pep in my step, and a ton of adrenaline. I was feeling amazing physically, and figured that this could be my day.

Loop 2

The HURT course is broken into five 20-mile loops, and each of those loops has 3 main points: the start of the loop at the Nature Center / Makiki, then onto the Manoa Aid Station (aka Pirate Aid Station), and then the Nuuanu aid station, before coming back to the Nature Center to finish the loop.

On loop 2, I continued to feel amazing until 2/3 of the loop at Nuuanu. All of a sudden, I didn’t want to eat the sweet food I’d brought, and I started to feel a little bit nauseous, even though I didn’t feel hot at all. I remained calm, just knowing that I walked half of loop 2 last time and still ended up in 2nd, and this day was still going much better. I switched to eating the delicious aid station food (like rice balls dipped in miso) and carried on. By the end of loop 2, I’d resolved my foot issues with the super-cushy HOKA Cliftons, and found it funny that in ultras, the only relief you get about one issue is the introduction of another.

I finished loop 2 still doing really well, and still in 2nd female at the time. However, I knew I wasn’t feeling great, and that I needed to spend a good chunk of time at the Nature Center before heading out for loop 3. I sat down, swapped my socks and shoes (which I did every single lap), and tried to get some food and water down. I was already sick of electrolytes, so I swapped to plain ice water, which was much more appetising. Denise Bourrassa was so helpful, as a volunteer she was basically crewing me, and even dared to touch my feet! At some point, one of the volunteers shouted that I looked too awesome to be sitting there, and started to kick me out of the aid station. I gave into the excitement and positivity, but unfortunately I left the aid station without making a plan of what I was going to eat now that I was starting to get nauseous. I left with some random foods, but it wasn’t enough, and soon I was far enough away to be on my own, with no real plan of how I was going to fend off the nausea.

Loop 3

This was one of my big low points in the race. On loop 3, you already need to carry a headlamp with you, as HURT has a very long night section, being in the middle of winter. I didn’t see the sun set, but darkness came before long, and around that time I started to feel really nauseous. I gave myself a walking break, thinking I could beat this with a small break, but then I began to question everything. What was I doing here, all the way in Hawaii, just to suffer and feel terribly, when I was longing to be with my son and with Julien back home? I was already missing him with the recent transition to full-time daycare, and being alone out there while suffering made me miss them both terribly. I had a work phone with me, but broke down and decided to roam and call home. I told Julien how I was suffering so badly, so early in the race, and how I wanted to just quit at the next aid station, and go directly to the airport. Julien said all the right things, reminding me to be patient, and reminding me how HURT gives you plenty of time to hit low points and bounce back. He reminded me of last time at HURT, how I really came back from the dead in the last two loops, and how it was possible for me to do that again. It was hard to hear Luc’s little sounds in the background. I’m not sure if I was agreeable or not, but my brain was able to absorb his words subconsciously, and I became attached to the word “patience”. I would soldier on. Around then, a couple women passed me, and Teresa from Oahu was so kind. She offered me a ginger chew to settle my stomach, but I was so miserable that it felt like anything going in would immediately come back out.

That’s when Andrew from Vegas came along. I must have been walking for about 30 minutes, and just starting to feel like I could try to engage with the race again. He was also suffering, and we convinced each other to jog forward together, just one foot in front of the other. He had some hilarious stories from the Las Vegas running community, and by working together, we got to the pirate aid station hours faster than I would have on my own, if I was walking.

I was lucky that my friend Craig and Sean were volunteering at the pirate aid station for the entire weekend, and they approached it like a race, staying awake the entire time like a slumber party. They became a key motivator for me, as I always knew that if I could just make it to Craig and Sean, that they would help me.

I showed up, letting Craig know that I wanted to drop. I settled into a chair and started to gaze at the aid station menu, deciding if there was anything I could handle. 

Throughout the day, Craig was texting with my pacer, Cole, and asked if I wanted Cole to meet me earlier than planned. Apparently Cole wanted to run longer with me, and could meet me at the next aid station! It was a quick yes, and that spurred me along to Nuuanu. Knowing that Cole would be waiting there, it really helped me to try to get there as quickly as possible. 

Just before I was about to leave, Tracy swooped in and handed me some white powder in a ziplock baggy that she called “effervescence”. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I had nothing to lose, and a local runner just kept saying “Tracy knows her shit, you should do it!” They also told me that it’s basically calcium, and that it would help to settle my stomach. It was so generous of her to do that, as she probably had only a small ration of that stuff for herself. I poured it into my water bottle as she directed, using “about half of the baggie”. Tracy was so encouraging, and it definitely confirmed my decision to get up and keep going. They said and did all the right things, and after a good long rest, they helped me to get back out there, continuing to slither ahead on loop 3.

I crossed the stream at Nuuanu, and there Cole was, eagerly waiting with a headlamp on in the dark, and so generous to pace me – a complete stranger – through the entire night!

Cole lives right near the course, so he was full of awesome stories about the trails, the little critters that inhabit the area, and the running community. He had never run such a long ultra, and so it was entertaining for him when I started puking on the course, or asking to sit on the ground to fend off lightheadedness. At one point, I sat on the ground and after a while, I announced that I would do a 20-second countdown to get back up and moving. During the countdown, I fell asleep! I wasn’t really eating or drinking, and so these strategies helped me to not faint by giving myself periodic rests.

Loop 4

Loop 4 became a battle, as I was slithering along. At my new sufferfest pace, I no longer had the race excitement and adrenaline, and I was falling asleep on the move. Without being able to take in food or water without vomiting, my body was starting to attempt to shut down. I was cold, when no one else was cold, and I was just inchworming along. If I ate anything I would get nauseous or puke, so I was surviving on a few sips of water an hour, plus very small rations while seated at aid stations: 1/4 of a banana eaten in small bites over 10 minutes, a bite of a grilled cheese, a couple chips… I tried everything, but nothing was working.

I started informing Cole of how I was going to drop out at Craig’s aid station, that I didn’t want to simply death-march 40 miles. I felt that since he had never run HURT before, that I could convince him that it was a good idea. Cole softly suggested that we wait and see when we get there, and that we’d be there soon…

We got to Craig’s aid station, and I immediately asked if I could have a nap. (100 milers basically turn us into babies.) They had these awesome cots with tons of blankets, and they let me nap, wrapping me in warmth while encouraging me to sip water. The race medics checked my pulse and blood pressure, and it was a funny moment. You could tell they looked worried, as my blood pressure was reading 90/50, but they also didn’t know exactly what to do. Sean was there too, and you could tell it was a funny moment for him too, as my pulse was great, and they figured that I normally had a relatively low blood pressure. I was extremely out of it, going in and out of sleep, and left my fate in their hands. I was treated to a 45 minute nap, which helped brighten my spirits, and then Craig started to work his magic, his hard-earned wisdom from over 100 ultra finishes all over the world. First of all, he challenged my idea that if I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t continue. He argued that the body does have fat stores, and that if I could just get a little bit of water – a few sips – and a few bites of food down every hour, that I could get this done. (At least, that’s how I remember it.) Next, he convinced me that rather than dropping, why didn’t I walk to the waterfall, about a mile away, just to see how I felt? He said that if I still felt horrible, I could easily come back and drop. In fact, he even got special permission to accompany me for that mile as a sort of safety support. I said sure, as it sounded really reasonable. It made sense to try 1 mile before throwing away the whole race, and I also loved that section of the course. I told Craig to go get ready, pleased that I’d get another 10 minutes of lying down while he organized his running gear. I hoped he’d do it slowly. Meanwhile, I enjoyed the bed and all the blankets. Just like in 2015, a wonderful volunteer told me that he’d be ecstatic if he could ever make it to this point in the race at this time, and that I had a whole 8 hours to lie here if I wanted, and still make cutoffs. That statement always works on me…

Possibly from my rigorous heat training, or perhaps from my lack of eating, I was cold, and I worried about continuing up to the ridges on the route at night in my state, without a jacket. Voicing these thoughts aloud, an awesome local runner named Tyler kindly offered me his fancy running jacket – an act of generosity that’s strangely common in the HURT o’hana (family), and the real reason why I love this race.

Armed with Tyler’s jacket, a delicious hot coffee to-go, and with Craig and Cole alongside me, we hiked up to the waterfall, a genius idea that Craig used on multiple people that weekend to trick them into continuing. We got there, and suddenly I was having some amount of fun again. Of course I was going to keep going. I had let go of my original hopes and dreams, and was ready to embrace this new itinerary. It involved naps and coffee and lying on the ground periodically, which maybe wasn’t what I’d dreamed of, but I was here for it. I chose the language of power hiking instead of death marching, and it worked. Sometimes.

Looking at it now, it all makes sense. Medicine Net says, “A diastolic blood pressure reading of 50 mm Hg is too low. Once your diastolic number goes below 60 mm Hg, it can make you dizzy or lightheaded…” I wasn’t drinking fluids, so I’d developed a mild hypotension that was hard to come back from. This explains why I needed my mini-breaks along the route to avoid fainting.

I actually did have a lot of fun that lap, never fully recovering but moving along efficiently enough to call it mild power hiking (the ups) and jogging (the downs) instead of the death marching I’d envisioned. Cole told me so many stories, I responded with a few words of my own occasionally, and we enjoyed seeing runners’ insanely bright headlamps to greet us on all the out and back sections. Almost every time, Cole would know the runner or the pacer we’d meet, and it felt like such a nice, tight knit community. I saw cockroaches lit up on Hogsback trail, and we even stopped to admire the view from the top of one of the ridges, with Waikiki far down below. I noticed my mindset changing, softening into a more positive, and more relaxed perspective. I stopped thinking about quitting, and just accepted my fate. I was more focused on the present, and I totally let go of my ego, or any audacious goals to run this course fast, or faster than last time even. At some point we got to run with Andrew again, and those miles were always so enjoyable.

Loop 5

Approaching the Nature Center at the end of loop 4, I admitted to Cole that I needed a big break here. I had only eaten a couple bites of banana each hour, and I needed to revive myself to make it through another 20 miles (and about 2 Grouse Grinds) of HURT. What I pictured being a “fast for me” 15-20 minute break turned into a veryyy long pit stop, complete with a full professional foot-taping job, as my feet were starting to feel trench-footy. As soon as I stopped moving and sat on the ground, I felt the full extent of my low blood pressure and dizziness, and it seemed much worse than I expected. The sitting transitioned to lying down, while people brought me food and I mostly let it accumulate. I was not in any sort of rush, as the longer I waited, the sooner the sun would rise.

I guess because of my choice to lie on the ground, I was suddenly offered so much generosity, with runners everywhere volunteering to pace me. Ami offered to pace me for the first leg to Pirate’s aid station, and then Cole’s wife, Steph, offered to pace me from there to Nuuanu. I accepted their generous help right away, and when Ami told me she looked forward to getting to know me, I reminded her that she would have to do all the talking. 😉

Around this time Alyssa came blazing in to finish her last loop, finishing not long after the first male finisher with the second-fastest female time ever, and it was super inspiring to see. That got me off my ass. We sauntered out with a coffee to-go, a half banana and a few saltine crackers, which I was hoping would power me along for the whole couple hours to Craig’s aid station.

Ami was full of the best stories from the army, including one I found very entertaining, where she attended a jungle survival camp, and had to kill a chicken with her bare hands. It was the best entertainment as I slithered along, jogging a little bit of the descents, but getting nauseous again, and having to regress to a hike. A safety sweep volunteer named Joel also joined me, offering the best advice and encouragement to sip water every few minutes, and eat a bite of food. My banana fell off the side of the trail at one point, leaving me with about 30 calories of saltine crackers, but the funny thing was that I wouldn’t be able to finish them anyway.

At the time I didn’t know why both Joel and Ami were accompanying me, I just enjoyed their company and all their little tips. Finally I knew I’d finish the race, and it was just about doing my best to enjoy the last miles, leaning into their stories and kindness. (After the race I realized that their job as safety volunteers was to make sure runners were safe, and with my dizziness and nausea, I probably didn’t look super safe out there.)

I managed to spend another long aid station visit with Craig and Sean, and it was here that I finally figured out a food I could eat, thanks to Joel. Grapes! It was the first thing I could eat since loop 2 that sat well in my stomach, so I snacked on grapes for the rest of the race.

From there, I got to run with Steph for the remainder of the race. Even though Steph is a fast runner of shorter trail distances, she naturally knew just what to say, and do, to motivate me out there. It’s all a bit of a blur, but I really enjoyed all the miles I got to spend with her. At some point it actually started lightly raining, which turned the nicely-dry trails into a bit of a slick mess. It made me chuckle that loop 5 had to be any harder.

Coming into Nuuanu, I told her goodbye, and then she surprised me, saying that she had changed her mind, and would run with me all the way to the end! I was so, so lucky.

To my delight, we stumbled into Pargol and Kim around this time, and the two of them looked like they were having so much fun, as Pargol was on track for a big personal best from her last HURT100 run. Kim was hustling up climbs, and they were shouting and joking – it felt just like a Sunday adventure back in North Van. Immediately, we all decided to join forces, and we got to spend the last leg of the race all together, laughing and encouraging one another along.

Those last couple hours were the real benefit of choosing to continue through all those lows earlier in the day, as I had such a fun time with Pargol, and Steph, and Kim. We joked about how silly this was, and how from now on, we would all only pace other people doing HURT: why would anyone do the whole thing solo?! Now that I reflect on it at home, that’s the real appeal of ultra running: it’s those deep, bonding experiences you get to have with awesome people in a very short amount of time. (I don’t remember any of our jokes or why we laughed, but I can remember the feeling.) Up and down the steep ridges we went, and finally everything was so comforting to me, being with my crew and being on the last leg of the last loop!

We tackled the protruding, annoying pipe trail descent one last time, and then sauntered into the Nature Center together, tied for 5th female, ringing the bell and kissing the HURT sign together. “We wouldn’t want it to be easy”, says the sign, and I’m sure that’s the beauty of this race – it tears you apart so much that you must find and seek the best qualities in other humans around you. It maybe wasn’t the personal best finish I’d dreamed up, but it was a finish at HURT, right beside my friends, and I embraced it fully.

Back to work and parenting, with a new mindset

I flew home on Monday night right after the banquet, and went straight back to work in Squamish, and then daycare pickup. Oddly, I felt I’d faced all my emotions out there in the jungle, and came out on the other side a little bit more balanced. I felt like I’d regained some independence, while still having the awesome connection I have with Luc. Parenting seems a lot like 100 milers: both undertakings dish out the most challenging moments you’ve ever experienced, mixed with a lot of laughs and learning, and they’re both oddly addictive. And both can have a lot of puking, as it turns out.

Thank you to the amazing HURT community, and especially to all the volunteers, safety sweepers, and to my pacers who sacrificed their weekends to help us (me!) get through HURT. You are truly o’hana, and represent what I love most about ultra running. Shout out to my BC family abroad, you made it possible for me to come, and you really took care of me like a little sister. And of course, thank you to Julien, who solo-parented for 5 days so that I could do this, and to my mom, who came and helped out on Saturday back home. 🙂

Congrats to all the runners, and especially all the women I got to run with, you made my weekend so special!

Favourite gear

This is some of the gear and supplies that I loved this time around!

-During the daytime, I used the Ultraspire 550 Pocket Handheld bottle together with the super-light and minimalist Ultraspire Basham pack. I had so many storage options, and the handheld encouraged me to drink water throughout the day!

-During the evening, I switched to the Ultraspire Bronco vest, together with soft flasks, so that I could have my hands free to carry a handheld flashlight, which is my favourite type of light system. I just find it produces the most natural light with no tunnel vision…

-I swapped out socks and shoes every single loop, to ensure my feet stayed dry in all the humidity. Excessive, for sure, but I used four different pairs of shoes through the race! It was fun to mix it up, and easy to do that with a loop format, so why not? I loved the HOKA Tectons on my last loop, which are a super-cushiony trail shoe with a carbon plate, and kind of felt like running on clouds. I also loved the HOKA Cliftons – despite being a road shoe, they weirdly work for me at HURT, as they’re super light and high cushioned as well. (Note that I’ve always raced HURT on relatively dry years, so maybe would not work as well on a wet, stormy year.) I really loved the HOKA Speedgoats until the last loop, when I actually could no longer fit into them as my feet had swollen. If I ever run HURT in a wet/stormy year, I think the Speedgoats would be the best shoe: I’d probably bring two sizes of Speedgoats, and would use the larger size later in the race.

–Switfwick socks were amazing to prevent any blisters from forming, as they’re extremely stretchy and form-fitting, and I never felt any friction between socks and shoes, or socks and skin. (I actually finished the race with not a single blister!) I did get my feet taped for the last loop as they started to hurt at last, but I think that’s to be expected when out for 32 hours.

Some fun links:

–Book of HURT. (A description of the race!)

–Link to results. (Shout out to all the amazing women I got to meet who kicked ass out there – you were all so strong, and truly encouraging to me!)

–Link to race splits for each runner: very cool to see how each runner approached the race, as this table breaks down their times for each loop!