2022 Squamish 50k: When in Doubt, Start the Race

In November, I was 7 months pregnant and sitting in front of the computer downstairs at 7 am. It was Squamish 50 race registration day, and I was going to enter the 50k. It would be the perfect first post-partum ultra: about 7 months after my due date, it was an awesome race with a great course and competition, but it was local, which seemed really appealing at the time. I could aim to run it if I was ready, but there wouldn’t be a whole expensive trip to cancel or adjust if I didn’t feel up to it.

Within seconds, I hit refresh, and all entries were sold out.

I guess it will have to be another year, I thought. Then I went back to bed, partly disappointed, but also partly relieved, as I felt a lot of expectations and pressure melt away instananeously.

I ran the race in 2016, right before I moved to Squamish. At the time I was training with my old road running club, and I was doing lots of marathon-style workouts. I ran at the front from the start, carried just a bottle, and didn’t use any sort of fancy watch. Long story short, I was killing it until “halfway” at Quest, and then totally died on Climb Trail. I walked it in as though it was a 100-miler, eventually deciding to end my day at Fartherside aid station, as my ego wasn’t ready to accept the slow time I’d earned by that point.

Let’s be honest: this wasn’t my only DNF around that time. I accumulated many! I would train and get fit, and then approach the ultras like a half marathon, expecting them to go smoothly, like my workouts. I’d start fast, then at some point I’d start to feel super nauseous, and I wasn’t willing to ultra-shuffle. I DNF’d from Sun Mountain 50 mile, TDS, Ultra Trail Harricana, and many others.

Running while pregnant taught me to run purely for fun again. If you’re lucky enough to continue to run long distances while pregnant like I was, then you have to dial it back a little bit, and really listen to your body to tweak and make adjustments before issues happen. Inspired by friends and other amazing pregnant runners, I hopped into a couple of ultras while pregnant, and truly enjoyed every step. I focused on listening carefully to what my body was saying, running my own race, and eating a ton of pastries…. and in the process, both races were a ton of fun, and I enjoyed every step. (And most importantly, I was healthy, and my baby is the happiest, healthiest little boy.) I was happy, never nauseous, and pacing them perfectly!

This attitude carried over into my post-partum running, where I had few expectations, and I was comfortable setting long-term goals for once. I would run Squamish one day, along with lots of other adventures and runs, and there was no rush. But to my surprise and delight, in May I won an unexpected entry into Squamish! I had a strong run and second-place finish at Survival of the Fittest at about 4.5 months post-partum, which allowed me an entry into Squamish 50k. I snapped at the chance, it felt meant to be.

Training for the race

Suddenly I found myself getting to go on long runs with Heather, sometimes Tara, sometimes Tara and Tara and Heather, and a cast of other legends, like Kat, Neasa, Anne-Marie, Jenny, and Cassie/Scarlett. Julien even joined me for a snowy date run up Galactic one day. We trained on all the guts of the course, except Mountain of Phlegm, everyone knows after my finish line speech that my mom would get worried to see me lost up there. I also ran the Juan de Fuca trail mid-June, which was a great long “run” / mudfest.

Up until the end of July, training went mostly quite well. Heather and I ran most of the course together over several runs, and we even did Tara’s special Mega Legacy run, which is intended to simulate the climbs and descents in a more convenient loop. I had some pelvic floor dysfunction come and go, which required me to be flexible, pivot, slide into DMs with my therapist, and do really awkward kinds of self-release. I felt like I was overcoming all the setbacks until about a month before the race, when I got the dreaded COVID. The illness itself actually wasn’t too bad, but the fatigue and brain fog were terrible for 18 days. I went through all the phases of denial and acceptance, initially thinking I could get through it quickly, to eventually surrendering and realizing that I probably wouldn’t be able to run the race. It would be okay, it’s just a recreational run, I came to realize. Still, I kept some hope. Eight days before the race I tried to do a nice flat-ish 18k loop, but had to cut it short as I still felt off. My energy was coming back, but it wasn’t fully there, so I really wasn’t sure. Thankfully, Tara invited me to do an easy EVAC (our local vertical km) a week before the race, and it showed me a glimmer of hope. After noticing I seemed okay, Tara then invited me to do a half-Howe Sound Crest Trail at lake-swimming pace on Tuesday with her and Tara. What the heck, I thought. After missing out on adventures all of August, I wanted to go so badly! It felt meant to be, I even had childcare on Tuesday. We took it easy but it was my longest run in 3 weeks, a technical 18k with over 1,500m of climbing. And I felt okay!!! I tried runs the next two days, feeling my energy totally return. Finally, after my final “test run” on Thursday, I decided I was up for the race! A short, sweet taper and popping of electrolyte tablets commenced.

Race day: the first half

I love early mornings. By now, my brain has come to associate them with fun, like Pavlov’s dog. I was up at 4:30, scurrying around downstairs quietly to not wake the baby, eating overnight oats and choosing the optimal hair scrunchie. After an hour of quiet prepping, Neasa and Heather kindly picked me up at 5:30am, and Tara hopped in as she happened to be awake, so the four of us drove five minutes down the road to the start line in the dark. It was such a nice way to start the day.

The start line was already buzzing. As the pre-race briefing began, the sun rose around us. I didn’t feel nervous at all, but if you watched me carefully, you’d see that my behaviour told another story, as I un-tied and then re-tied my shoe laces obsessively. Heather and I chose to start about 30 people back, we wanted to start easy. We found Jenny, and she tried to lure us to the front group, but we resisted. Honestly, I put my money on Jenny and Heather today. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel, if I was fully recovered yet or if I was still fit from a month ago.

As the race started and we crossed over the Salomon banner, I felt so relaxed. It felt just like we were heading off on another Sunday long run. We ran up the big road hill at the start and chatted with the other runners, seeing Herman who had crushed the 50-miler the day before, and a woman named Priscilla, who had won the 50 miler the day before! Here they were today, back out again to run 50k! The two were so strong that I figured they would run ahead of me, but before long we found ourselves drifting ahead of them.

Running along Four Lakes trail, Heather and I ran with a group of guys, chatting and running easy. At this point, the trails felt a bit stifling, and I worried that it would be a hot day ahead. Relax, you’re just not sweating yet, I told myself. With all the amount of socializing I was doing it didn’t feel like a race, but I didn’t know if I would be able to pull this off. I knew that starting out more conservatively was the perfect plan for the day.

Before I got COVID, my goal for the race was to run the race in less than 6 hours. I wasn’t exactly sure what time under 6 hours, but I felt like I could do it on a great day. After COVID and the long bout of fatigue, I thought it would be best to adjust my goals, as I hadn’t done any long runs or workouts in the past three weeks. Initially I thought I’d shoot for sub-7, but then as the race got closer, I thought that sub-6:30 was maybe possible. Then, the day before the race I started thinking about the possibility of running 6:15 if I had an awesome day, or 6:23 would also be great, which was my time at last year’s Black Spur Ultra 54k (with less vert, and while pregnant, but felt somehow relevant). My good friend Tara Holland won the race in 2019 and ran 6:15, so I used her splits as an idea of how to pace and run the race if I was having a great day. The splits were really helpful, as I hadn’t run the race since 2016, and I definitely wasn’t going to copy my splits from that doomed year! (Thanks Tara!!) Either way, I had some things to shoot for, but no expectations. I was going to finish no matter what, but I knew I may need to adjust the pacing if I didn’t feel great. I just felt lucky to give it a go, and I was really feeling inspired to run to the finish. (Also, Julien and I made a silly bet: if I finished we’d go out for dinner, and if I didn’t then I’d have to make dinner.)

Coming into the first aid station, I was a couple minutes behind Tara’s 2019 timing. Initially, I felt the goal slip away, but then I remembered that we had to walk part of the Four Lakes Trail for the unique “2022 walk zone for the toad crossing”, so I was actually on time when that was considered. I didn’t feel amazing or anything, but my energy was good, my lungs felt fine, and I felt very determined. I decided to keep trying for the 6:15 time. I had no idea what position I was in, as my goal was to run my own run. (After finishing, I now know I was in 7th female.)

I started to feel really good going up Galactic, the first large climb of the course. I was running my own run, hiking parts, and shuffle-jogging other parts on a granny gear. It felt like I was cooking a soup on a very slow simmer. I passed a few people up Galactic, and really enjoyed the whole climb. One thing I did differently with this race, is made an effort to eat with a little bit of time to spare before the big descents, to give my body some time to digest before all the descending. I also adjusted the front straps of my vest to be a bit looser on the descents, so that there was zero pressure on my stomach. (It’s funny it took me over 40 ultras to figure that out…)

At the top, I found Cory, who after an awesome run the day before, had set up a rogue aid station on-course. He was offering cigarettes, baileys and coffee, canned tuna, and a variety of cow’s milk options. He’s the funniest person, and he told me later that four people accepted various kinds of milk, and one cigarette was taken for use at the finish line. I politely declined, then started the big huge descent into Quest.

The downhills are generally my favourite, but I’d become more well-rounded after having baby Luc. I became better at climbing from training with the pregnant weight, almost like I had a new granny gear that didn’t exist before. I was still getting back into the groove of descending, as my core muscles re-calibrated. Before the race I worried that my descending wasn’t quite back to normal. But as I got going down the first big descent, my worries faded away. I was fine, and just totally enjoyed it. I didn’t bother to be reckless like usual, instead, I tried to just enjoy the descent, smooth and efficient. I loved every step. That part went by quickly, and I recall passing a few people.

Race day: the back half

I made it to Quest, and that’s where I knew I was having a good day. My body was good, but it was my mind that was firing on all cylinders. I was making tiny little decisions, listening to my body and really taking care of myself. I was about seven minutes ahead of the 6:15 splits, and I felt great. I wasn’t tired, and I was craving the rest of the course, even the hard parts. I saw Julien and baby Luc, grabbed more water and snacks, and then ran off with Gabe, an awesome runner from Annecy, France, who now lives in Vancouver. Gabe put me in such a good mood leaving Quest, it really lifted me up. I could see Heather’s bright pink shorts now up the hill, which sort of surprised me, and Gabe and I chatted about how great she is. Up we went, and lucky for me, Gabe wanted to do this as a team. I was all for it! Together we climbed up, Gabe hiking more than me in his fast euro way, me shuffle-jogging in granny gear. After the brief flat section on Climb I somehow got ahead, and kept just plodding up, taking the outside, least-steep corner of each switchback. I’d decided that any jog up Climb was great, so I kept going on slow simmer mode. Training for the race, this was the part I’d prepared for. I figured it would be demoralizing, slow, and that it would feel terrible. But here I was, genuinely enjoying it! I passed some more people here, and just enjoyed feeling good on this part I expected to feel terrible.

Once that was over, there was quite a bit of relief, as the hardest climbs on the course are done! Coming down Angry Midget and past the aid station, I was feeling good, and I was game for what was up ahead. I ran the little climb after the river crossing, because Tara says we have to, and then tried my best to run quickly through the technical, rock-strewn trails of STP and Bonsai. I thought about pushing to try for sub-6, but suddenly my legs started fully craming up, to the point I had to stop and hobble, and down a bunch of potato chips (salt!) and water. I decided it would be too risky to accelerate when my body was so badly cramping, and was likely a better strategy to just keep doing what I was doing all day: nothing special, but keep going on the slow simmer.

Before long I stumbled into the wonderful sight of a course marshal, signaling so many great things. We were about to run Somewhere Over There trail, which is a fun descent, and it also meant that we were very close to the last aid station, and our crew!

I started down, hopping along with quick feet and a pace that optimized cramp reduction and speed. Before long, I finally reconnected with Heather, who was chatting away with another runner and seemingly also having a great time. It was wonderful to be feeling so great, and to be together again!

We ran into the last aid station at Fartherside together, literally dance-running up the hill to all our friends cheering. I had a small delay at the aid station as my crew and I had a little mixup, so Heather left the aid station ahead of me. Up we went along the Fartherside switchbacks, slowly and surely, as we yelled encouragements to each other. My leg cramping was back in full force, and I had to guzzle electrolyte water more than I’ve ever consumed before to fend them off. Heather asked how long the climb was, and I guessed 5-10 minutes. Here we started catching some of the 23k runners, and it was really nice trying to encourage each other. I continued eating, a couple honey dip Timbits and a final XACT fruit bar. At some point the sun came out, which made me feel even happier. Meanwhile the squirrely trails led us up and down, with more down than I expected on the way “up” to the final mini-summit, Mountain of Phlegm. At the top there was a lovely view of Howe Sound, and then we ducked back into a technical forest descent.

About a minute later, I caught up to Heather and she hopped aside for me to pass. I told her to come with me, to run the last part together. I was loving this section: a fun downhill, and with only a few kilometers left in the race, it was starting to set in that we were almost done. All the hard parts were over, and soon we’d get to do a bit of road running! I also got excited thinking about the finish line Backcountry Brewing beer garden. Before long we rejoined Crumpet Woods trails that are so familiar to me from when I lived Downtown. I saw Scott and Kalie cheering, and seeing them made me motivated to cover the last 4k as fast as I could. Soon I was leaving Smoke Bluffs and onto the road, a beloved section from so many stroller runs this past year. I looked back and couldn’t spot Heather’s pink shorts anywhere, so decided to tempo to the finish. That started out well, but then the Squamish wind hit me hard as I turned southbound on Logger’s Lane. Julien literally read my mind, and was the sole spectator on this section with Luc in the stroller as I fought the wind with 1km to go.

At some point someone told me I was second female, which was a total surprise, as I’d been running my own agenda all day. As Heather and Kat and I talked about on a long run recently, it’s always the most satisfying when you can run within yourself and feel like you did the best you could. We also agreed that it’s extra-sweet icing on the cake when that also coincides with a good placement relative to others in a race! I crossed the line in 6:06:42, 2nd female and 12th overall out of 336, and Heather came just two minutes after me, in third. What a satisfying way to finish!

Photos of my finish, and me hugging Jenny by Ollie Kirwan. 🙂 Photo of Heather & I by Joel Fuller.

If you ever find yourself like me, unsure of whether to start a race, I think it’s always worth it to give it a go. What I found is that for long-distance running, you don’t actually lose that much relevant, useable fitness in 3 weeks. And you never know, you may surprise yourself! For me, the last-minute setback turned into the best attitude for an ultra– zero expectations, but a lot of determination.

Having a baby definitely improved my outlook. In the past, I had so much time that I would do so many ultras — to the point that each one didn’t matter that much. But this time, it was a special occasion that I could get up at 4 am and run all day. It felt different. I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to run another ultra next weekend, so I enjoyed every step. I also felt really in tune with myself, I think I finally learned how to listen to my body when I was pregnant.

There were so many amazing performances during the weekend. Congrats to Jenny, who ran a super-strong 5:44:20, and to Heather, this was her first ultra race, and to Nick Elson, who broke the men’s course record in an incredible 4:48:05, even with the couple-minute walking section to protect the toads. Also, not far behind me was Priscilla Forgie, who ran 6:28 the day after winning the 50-miler, breaking the 50/50 women’s course record in the process! Also, shout-out to Alex Ricard for a super-fast new men’s 23k course record. I could keep going — congrats to all the runners!

Full results.
My strava.

After the race festivities, my mom and I went to Lil Chef Bistro with baby Luc, and took turns downing our pints and entertaining Luc with the hanging baskets.

Thank you

A simple run takes a lot of people, love, and support. Thank you to:

• Julien, who gave up his summer Sunday and crewed me with a 7-month-old Luc in tow, not easy when the crew times coincide perfectly with the usual nap times (= crying baby).
  
• My mom, who helped to babysit a lot of weekends this summer so I do 3-4 hour trail runs.
  
• My neighbour Teresa, who helped with childcare on Tuesdays so I could run and do other life stuff!
  
• My friends Big and Little Tara, Heather, Kat, Neasa, and Tiera, who made training so much fun, came out to cheer for us, shared knowledge and training ideas, and came to the finish line to make it extra special. Thank you!!
  
• Thank you to Terry Bremner for always being there at the finish line with special berries and delicious Bremner’s juices. You always seem to pop up at just the right times, at races all over the world, every year 😉
  
• My shoe sponsor, HOKA, and Alex & Sean from HOKA, for your support, for making incredible shoes & awesome sunset-vibe race outfit!
  
• Coast Mountain Trail Running for giving me an entry to run in the sold-out event after Survival of the Fittest, your events are so well-organized and it was really a treat to be able to run your Sq50 event! (And finish!)
  
• Lastly, thank you to all the volunteers who gave so much heart to the event to make this amazing day on the trails possible.

Gear

As this is a “short” ultra, I used:

• Two 500ml handheld bottles (one in my hand, one in my pack, drank at least one bottle per hour. I re-filled once at the first aid station, and after that I got new bottles from crew!)
• Ultraspire Basham vest, which stored my 2nd handheld bottle in the back of the pack
• Hair scrunchie, for performance
• HOKA Zinale shoes – the best for technical runs!
• Buff on my wrist– for descents, I’d put the buff over my hand and have my handheld bottle in the other hand, to protect my hands in case I fell (sometimes I wear gloves for this purpose but decided against it this race)
• Strava beacon app, so that my family and friends could follow and know where I was in real time!

Food

Sometimes in previous races, I’ve had an unrealistic eating goal. For this race, I knew that most people can digest 200-300 calories per hour while running, and I decided to just stick with the low end, which was the most likely to (a) be something I would actually stick to and (b) not backfire. I used:

• Water with XACT Nutrition electrolyte tabs (1 tab per 500ml bottle plus I ate a tab on its own at Fartherside aid station. Next time I will experiment in training with adding even more, maybe 1.5 tabs per bottle, as I’m a heavy salt sweater and I think this would reduce the debilitating leg cramps.)
• Timbits – Honey Dip (45 calories per pop!) and Sour Creme (90 calories each!)
• XACT Nutrition fruit bars (I ate one of these and 90 calories of timbits per hour)
• Salt and vinegar chips (saved me when I started cramping later in the race)
• Snickers Peanut Butter minis (ate one then didn’t want them, tasted too sweet)

In general, I tried to space out my calorie intake, taking in about 100 calories every 20-30 minutes. I think it really helped with digestion to be taking in little bits consistently rather than a lot at once, I was actually feeling snacky by the time I ate, and never felt sick.

See you next year!